My thanks to Jaya sweety, Rusty and Vampy, I have revamped my poem, with their help. Thanks guys, u are simply amazing.
Joojhne se thak gaya hai yeh dil
Keh raha hai mujhse
Vahan pahunchna hoga mushkil.
Bujhaa de khwahishein apni,
Haath mein nahi aane wali yeh manzil"
Khuda na khastaa
Yeh meri aakhiri ho
Har kisiko hoti hai taklifein
Uth.Uth ke chal
Kam karde ye doorian, yeh faaslein
Rokta tumhe kaun hai?
Raah teri dekh rahe hai yeh raastein
Khuda na khastaa
Yeh teri aakhiri ho
Himmat de nahi rahi hai mera saath
Akeli hoon, phir bhi
Yeh kaun kar raha hai mujhse baat?
Aur koi nahi ,aks hoon teraa
Maukaa ab hai ,bada raha hu haath.
Khuda na khastaa
Yeh humari aakhiri ho
Darr aur taaqat, sab the mere apne
Ruki main kyun?!!
Be-jhijak dekhungi khoob, ab, sapne
Rokungi nahi khudko,
Jo bhi ho, karoongi uska samna
Khuda na khastaa
Yeh meri aakhiri ho
12 comments:
Nice poem there NIta..
Be-jhijak dekhungi khoob, ab, sapne
Rokungi nahi khudko,
Jo bhi ho, karoongi uska samna ?
Good luck!!!
Thanks for dropping by ma blog.
Greetz :)
"Bujhaa de khwahishein apni,
Haath mein nahi aane wali yeh manzil"
Koi bhi manzil aisi nahi hoti! Ho haath mein nahi aa sakti!
Kisne bola ki aasmaan mein ched nahi hota... ek baar tabiyat se pathhar fek ke to dekh!
HI NICE POEM. BT WHY SUCH ATTITUDE?WHO SAYS GOALS CANNOT B ACHEIVED? TRY A BIT HARD, U SURELY WILL GET WHATEVER U WANT FROM UR LIFE!!
CHEERS
now, i should say best of luck !
rusty
uaaauuuuu...it's very nice way written..the word...the style...the way u express...its great!!
But I believe in this...
Mujhe hai ekin asmaan chhune ki
Laheron se ladkar age jane ki
Jana to hai kitne ho muskile
Ruke chahe sao bar ruke
Swapna to hai manjilo ki
Chalte rahe yeu chale rahe
Biswas hai varosha bhi
Ayega din nayi subhha ki
Ayega din nayi subhha ki
Jana to hai kitne ho muskile
Jana to hai kitne ho muskile
Ayega din nayi subhha ki
Mujhe hai ekin
Cheers..
Roy
Nita>> Lovely and written very nicely i msut say!
Loved the postivity of it all!
Darr aur taaqat, sab the mere apne
Ruki main kyun?!!
Be-jhijak dekhungi khoob, ab, sapne
Rokungi nahi khudko,
Jo bhi ho, karoongi uska samna
:)
REALLY NICE LINES! :)
I'm impressed even though I don't know Hindi/Urdu. Could you maybe provide a summary in English? :-)
post ur new composition:)...egarly waiting for ur new 1
Nice work, though I would have loved to read it in hindi font.. It takes a while to read, intepret and then enjoy...
one thing is clear, my shudh hindi needs a lot of tutoring.
vasu
Kudos to you for the first step and let it be the start of a long journey :)
very nice poem neets....
manzil thak tho pahunch hi jaaoge agar rastha na khoya aur dil na thaka...
i have tried my hand at writing a poem in hindi too...and to tell u the truth i felt it was much easier to express feelings in Hindi than in English. In English it becomes very lofty as soon as you start putting words to your feelings(i feel). I end up writing metaphors.
Incidentally Hindi is not my mother tongue. So maybe i owe a lot to Bollywood :)
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